Damn Stereotypes!
by The Kazekage of Suna
Summary: No offense but... All. Offense. Is. Immediately. Taken. In this story we have the ever so true rants on the stereotypical views we have on Naruto characters...
1. Nonsense Naruto

The Kazekage of Suna: Hello readers, here is a story for your entertainment. In no way do I make claims that I myself have not done a few of these, but it can be used for reference. This should not be taken to heart or personally, nor am I singling out a person or persons.

* * *

Naruto Uzu-freakin'-Maki.

What.

The.

Hell.

Ok I get that Naruto can be a tard occasionally but seriously?! Yes Naruto can be compared to that of a rabid squirrel, yes Naruto can also be categorized into an addict of energy drinks, but he does have his SERIOUS moments!

In a lot of stories I've read, there will be something like this occurring;

"MONKEY BALLS!" Screamed Naruto from nowhere.

What.

Naruto doesn't shout random things 24/7.

No, Naruto doesn't have ADD or ADHD.

Naruto.

Is.

Naruto.

There is absolutely no logical explanation for half the shit he does, so do not pin anything sense filled into whatever the hell he does.

Please on behalf us readers, refrain from making Naruto some hyped junkie.

And.

If you absolutely HAVE to make Naruto shout out random ass shit.

It better be a damn good reason.

Or pretty damn funny.


	2. Shaping Sakura

Sakura.

Dear god where do I START!

Honestly...

No.

Just no.

Sakura as most popular?!

Sakura the most beautful!?

I just...

Alright, lets get down to buisness. I hope we are on the same page of this Naruto book...Sakura does not have big boobs, you guys. Sakura has no curves. I am not trying to hate I am stating the obvious shit. Do you not see that her body has as much curve as a ruler? Am I halucenating? Maybe...Another thing.

Look, personally I hate her, but when I see this...

"Like, oh mah gawd, like so kawaii!" COME FROM SAKURA'S MOUTH!?

She's smart!

She's isn't THAT stupid.

...Maybe.


	3. Unrealistic Uchiho

The Kazekage: Thank you Weasle-Chan for the Sasuke being a man-hoe idea!

* * *

Uchiho the gigolo.

No.

Why is it an every damn high school fic I read Sasuke is some BAMF who get's all the ladies...and is a player? Ok. Let me take a deep breath before the flames come...in three...two...one.

Sasuke couldn't give a second shit about girls. Literally. So why in the hell would he go around and try to get all the ladies...on purpose.

Now, I completely understand the fangirl thing he's got going on.

But not the player Uchiha.

Save the player slot for Kiba.

BUT.

If your going intentional OOC for Sasuke, be my guest.

The floor is yours!

But if you want Emo-ke to be in character while being the "hottest bestest man everest!" then...no he is not a "playa".

He is also most certainly not a romantic person who comes to a date with a rose between his teeth while sweeping a girl off their feet...*shudders at thought*.


	4. H-H-Hi H-H-Hinata

The Kazekage:Why thank you iluvninjas, I so need to do Hinata

* * *

Whenever we r-r-rea-a-d-d f-f-fanf-f-fict-t-tion on H-h-h-in-n-t-t-a THIS CAN GET ANNOYING AS HELL.

WE GET THE POINT!

Ok yes she stutters!

B-but more l-like this!

Hinata faints but not 24/7! She doesn't drop it like its hot all day!

Nor is she some over confident kick ass that conquers all!

Don't get me wrong I love Hinata.

When she's in character.

Hinata doesn't act like a bitch.

Hinata is SHY.

Hinata is not self confident.

Hinata has a slow reaction time.

Hinata has low self esteem unless some like Naruto who breathes it can help.

I rest my case.


	5. Icky Ino

Going off the topic of being a whore in fan fiction...

Ino Yamanka.

I'm going to need a deep breath here...

INO

IS

NOT

A

HOE.

She isn't! She hasn't even had a damn boyfriend! What is she 17?!

Ok maybe she wears a Whore Uniform, but no she isn't one!

Tsunade's chest hangs out and I don't see one person dare call her a hoe.

Nobody.

Making her out to be a disgusting person for the sake of a having that one easy girl in the story isn't cool. Make a sleazy OC.

Or Karin.

Because she acts like an actual stripper.

Legit.


	6. Being a Bastard (Nice Kiba rant)

The Kazekage: Helloooo my lovelies! I really need to change the title to "Things that effing piss me off" cause this is what does...Now, to a very contradicting character that no one really depicts correctly.

Kiba.

* * *

The-sensitive-badass-heartbreaker-who-loves-puppies!

No.

No.

HELL.

NO!

Does Kiba hit on every walking thing that has boobs?

No.

Does Kiba really grin 24/7?

No.

Is Kiba sensitive?

No.

Am I going to ask more questions?

No.

This is getting annoying.

Yes.

So yes, as mentioned by insomniasucks (I totally agree it does suck) Kiba is not a well "liked" character.

Now, I love Gaara to death but I am going to pick on him for a moment (Yes I am not an über bitch when people make fun of him...sometimes).

So Gaara is fangirled and stalked by internet people, correct? Yes. Now let us digest this critical information.

Naruto, had just as bad as a past (Gaara's was slightly worse) but, where are all his fangirls? Why do I see Gaara being pitied all the time?

What about our ramen loving blonde?

Same for Kiba.

Kiba is one of the most attractive people in Naruto, yet he doesn't have nearly as mainly likes.

So he is usually made the ex-boyfriend of the girl who had her heartbroken by the bastard animal lover.

Did you know Kiba cares for Hinata, even if they are friends?

Think about what he would do for his girlfriend.

Let that sink in.

Let that sink in _realll_ nice.


	7. Gothic Gaara

The Kazekage: Now this chapter...I just can't avoid it any longer, apologies in advice.

* * *

Gaara.

Sabaku.

Does not.

WEAR.

EYELINER!

HE DOESN'T!

I can't even tell you how much that pisses of fans! If Gaara wears eyeliner then what the hell is on Naruto's face, hmm?

Freakin' whiskers are the shit now a days.

But no...we wouldn't DARE say he has whiskers!

So don't you DARE say Gaara as eyeliner!

If it's a joke!? FINE! If it is a legit thing he does in your story...*eye twitch*

Gaara get's stereotyped into the category of "Emo" or the subcategory "goth".

Gaara is usually wearing "Slipknot" tee's (Don't get me wrong I like that band) and...

Here we go! Gaara was a psychopathic murderer who didn't give a flying shit about crying or people. Now he is a caring person.

*This really gets me mad* Skin tight skinny jeans with clunky black knee high combat boots.

Nononononononononononononono nononononononononononononono nononononononononononononono nononononnononononono.

Need.

I.

Continue?

Now, Gaara in "Kazekage" stories.

Gaara is a caring person yes, but he is not really sensitive.

...


	8. OK Orochimaru

Orochimaru.

So much disturbing messed up scary shit he does.

But one thing he does not do?

Violate Sasuke.

Please for the love of our eyes, I don't want to think nor read about!

Look, Orochimaru is one scary ass wierdo but come on!

We want our minds to be some what innocent...

Make Orochimaru have an underwear fetish, or snake fetish, I don't know! But for the love of childhood don't make him do dirty things to Sasuke!

Hell I hate Sasuke and the snake freak but I seriously want to have some SLIVER OF CHILDHOOD!

MY EYES BURN FROM THE MENTIONED THINGS OROCHIMARU DOES!

THEY BLEED LIKE THE SHARINGAN EYES!


	9. Sasori of the Loveeeeeee

Sasori of the Love Red Sand!

What in the hell.

I didn't know Sasori could fall in love at first sight! Oh it must of been his destiny! *Sarcasm*

Sasori doesn't give a shit if you have stalked him for years and proclaim your undying love for him, which is what OC's do, right?

Yes.

For the love of god, if THE PUPPET can fall in love, then you can fly!

I'm not saying Sasori will never find love (he's dead) but if he does, do it right.

Don't let him fall in love with someone who has randomly popped into his life and proclaims that they love him.

Besides, we still are figuring out if he can be normal.


	10. GayDara (Deidara)

Deidara! A girls best gay friend! He knows _everything _about fashion and has impeccable sense of style!

False.

Deidara is one messed up baddass mofo who was apart of another badass mofo league that killed people.

He as long hair? Yes.

But don't the most powerful ninja's have long hair in this show?

Jirayia, Orochimaru, Itachi, Neji, Deidara, coincidence?

I think not.

But of course there are other who are extremely powerful that have short to medium hair, Gaara, Naruto, Sasori, etc.

Anyways, back to Deidara.

Deidara is not gay, he just has a feminine...hair.

But so does Itachi, and no one calls him gay.

So show some respect for Deidara.

Or he's gonna blow some shit up.


	11. Indescribably OOC Itachi

The Kaze: yeah the Kaze, sounds cool. Ah you have all agreed with me for stereotypes...lovely. ;)

* * *

The idea that Itachi is a bad ass with a soft heart.

He never killed that one gorgeous Uchiha from the massacre because she was just too damn beautiful, kind, loving, and just plain bitchin' amazing

Does Itachi give a shit?

Nah.

Is Itachi romantic?

Where the hell did this idea come from?

Will Itachi fall for that drop dead Mary Sue?!

According to Fanfiction?

Hell yes.

Let's take a moment of silence for our lost brethren.


	12. Temari The Terrorist (Karin Bash!)

You want to know what seriously pisses me off?

No?

Too frickin' late.

What pisses me the hell off is how Temari is portrayed.

Gosh effin damn it.

She is not out to murder everyone like how Gaara used to be!

SHE'S

C

R

U

D

E

Not A KILLER! Yes it's fine to joke about her temperament, SHE HAS NONE SO MAKING HER A HOT HEAD IS FINE.

Making her a bully...reserve that for Karin.

She's a bitch face.

Especially in those high school (I officially gave up ever writing one) stories where she is made the bully, pisses me off the most.

Temari aint got time fo' dat!

Temari does not simply give a shit.


	13. ADHD LEE

HI I'M LEE! OMFG SQUIRREL! HOLY SHIT LOOK AT THAT BIRD IT'S IN THE DAMN AIR LOOK AT DAT BIRD! OOOHHH TREES AND BUSHES! THE GREEN YOUTH!

HOLY SHIT MY HAIR IS A BOWL CUT OF YOUTH.

Honestly what in the hell is that?! Here let me give you the stereotypical ADHD LEE.

"HOLY SHIT BALLS OF YOUTH AND ROARING FIRE IT'S A! IT'S A! IT'S A BIRD! NO A PLANE! NO A TREE! NO A NARUTO! NO A SPANDEX SUIT! OHHH A FLOWER!"

Ok so maybe that was NOT exaggerated at all.

So he believes in youth, we get the point.

But come on, he's not high.

Or on crack.

Maybe het got drunk...

Yes?

Well that was once!


	14. Shikamaru's a Stick (Real Life Advice)

The Pimpkage: For a negative story(just kidding!), this has some pretty damn positive responses!

P.S- Please take this chapter seriously. I mean what I say and said what I meant.

Next chapter will be funnier.

* * *

Ok so I have read this quite a number of times and I literally wanted to throw my laptop across the damn room.

Shikamaru is thin.

Automatically labeled anorexic.

I'm I the only one who doesn't think that's right?!

Just because someone is thinner than you doesn't make them anorexic.

I REALLY hate the stupid sterotpye shit.

People need to accept the fact too.

I accepted it a long time ago.

This will sound crazy but some of the stereotypes in stories actually offend people...that was generalized stereotyping, any sterotyping.

So I guess in conclusion.

Watch your damn mouth.

And stop insulting short people...

You're offending my kind :(


	15. Sexual Sasuke

The Kaze: I HAVEN'T UPDATED IN FOREEEVVERRRR! I'M SORRY!

* * *

Alright let me start off with...

What the fuck.

Sasuke is a cocky bastard, not a lovable huggable squishy Sasu-bear.

Or he's a player, pimp...creeper.

Or the previous abusive/ bad ass boyfriend of the kind hearted girlfriend who only accidentally cheated on him four times and it's like not her fault at all...

No.

Just.

Sthap.

Or he's a pervert.

I know he got a bit frisky with Naru in the beginning...

But come on he's not _that _dirty.

I mean hell he isn't sweet, he MUST alllwayysss win and be right.

He's competitive!

So let's us all take a break from Sasuke the rapist.

From Sir Sasuke the Pimp of Sexy whatever the hell.

I don't like Sasuke.

I'm just here to serve justice.

Because even Sasuke needs to be depicted as himself.

Even the non-squishable Sasu-Bear.


End file.
